If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
