worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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