is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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