It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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