I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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