so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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