then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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