the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
