Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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