You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
