In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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