then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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