its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
