You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
