He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
