Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We need a shit load of segways right now
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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