and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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