you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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