Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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