Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
