I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
