he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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