he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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