I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
