Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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