i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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