How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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