I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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