Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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