jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
