Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
