I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
