i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
