But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
