i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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