Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize