So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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