i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
