He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize