I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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