i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
