Banned from zoo.
Again?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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