I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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