We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
