A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
