mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
