he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
