I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Holy shit dude........stairs
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
