I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
