I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
