we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
