Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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