It's just like the Real World with babies
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
