Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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