Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
