when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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