I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
