I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
