i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
