My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
