You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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