She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
