I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
